HI, I know it's been a long time since I've typed and all here but I just forgot/too lazy/didn't know how to arrange my thoughts that well to actually be able to type and share here anyway.
I just don't know what to type. I'm so lost and confused of my personality. I don't even know myself and when I have to type it's like there has to be a person with a personality, and I can't portray myself as ME carefree and all. It's like even when I type, even if no one is reading I still have to make myself this "Character" you understand?
I know that I like to talk to
myself and as I have promised myself countless of times before, I should make a habit of typing here to at least remember and be able to reflect on myslef. I'm so lost?
Over the past month, I swear I have so many different characters I portray, so many different people I have to be among each and every single person or crowd. Maybe it's time to find myself? But how exactly? I have already moved on to an iPhone to get away from the blackberry and the endless stream of BBMs and instant messaging which I believe only creates more fake characters and nicety from people.
I have my reasons for everything. See now? It felt much easier to type when I've already started. I guess I have many secrets? I mean if I type here and somebody I know reads it, I'm Dead. Like red meat, chopped up and ready to be turned to meatballs whether I like it or not.
Going to Bogor tomorrow.
SO WHO ARE MY FRIENDS?
- Gail: super sweet childhood friend
- Candy?: nice girl I can talk to but I still keep feeling inferior to her.
- Claudine: awwww miss this little missy! Such a good person and a good friend though I haven't met her/had contact with her for so long.
- Raina: I'm afraid friendship with her is fake, not exactly fake but just temporary, she's like that of a fluttering bird.
- Sukyi: this girl! J'Adore. Not that close though.
- Arin: J'Adore part deux! Different kind of love for this girl though, she's super sweet and funny and just a kind helpful soul.
- Hans: yes yes this boy is fun-ny! awkward at times but an okay sort of person I guess.
- Evan: MISS HIM! All the way in Canada probs already forgotten everyone still in Jakarta. Super funny lovable boy, like a little brother/buddy/best friend adoration for this guy.
- Kizzy: Fun girl. Can't decide on her. But yes I want to be her friend.
- Clau: SHE'S FORGOTTEN ME! Ditch me much?
- Mayde: Ah I don't know what to think of her. Love her, annoyed by her, adore her, pity her.
-Fiona: love love love! If I had a little sister, I want to take care of her. Random comfortable friendship without being close.
WHO ARE MY REAL FRIENDS?
DO I EVEN HAVE FRIENDS?
AM I A LONER WHO IS IN SELF DENIAL?
On the good side, I'm done with all AS exams today! yayyers(?) Submitted my final Art and Design Paper 1 Controlled Test today. I'll show the pictures but they're in my phone now.
I want to be popular(Good person, many friends who see me equal, good heart, fun to be around kind). I even want to be popular on social media like tumblr. That saddistic.
Okay, nighty night!
Hugs and Kisses!
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