Been away for Spring break to Bali! Went with parents and their PDG group on their retreat. Was in a room with Nadine.
It has been fun there in Bali where we stayed on Menjagan Resort for 4 days. We all got tan and most of us got sunburns!
Today is the first day of the 4th Term of the school year after the spring break. I know I sound all unenthusiastic with cut words that don't flow together but this may be due to me being sleepy, unsure of what to type and etcetera.
Today I went to see the school's psychologist to see the results of a sort of test to see our personalities. There were some results that were true about me and some that were just foolish. But it was alright since it is only 60-70% reliable anyway!
The things said:
- I have low confidence and underestimate my abilities. (Low self esteem?)
- I'm afraid to feel guilty so I don't say or do a lot of things
- I'm sensitive (2 different possibilities: Either think of what others are feeling or that I may easily change in emotion and feeling such as getting mad sad happy excited bored easily. Definitely the first one)
- I'm easily stressed (Need to learn to relax more)
- I have a bad communication with my mom (wrong!)
- I don't know how to explain my dad's personality characteristics and actions well (only very slightly, mostly no)
At first I was thinking that my second choice if I don't get into the course of Nutrition and Dietetics, I would go into the field of psychology or child psychology. But now I'm afraid! I've heard that if you're mentally not strong enough in the later future instead of learning well into the knowledge, those weak would in the end fall into a mentally sick state. In conclusion going nuts, cuckoo, weird or psychological disorders! I don't want to fall into that! Especially that I have a low self confidence. I still really want to get into the nutrition field but currently I'm thinking again because of mom's nagging. I'm not doing well academically, especially in Biology and Chemistry which I really need to be strong in to get into Nutrition. She's suggesting I try and find something else that I may be interested and academically capable of achieving. I don't know what to do!!! I'm really lost. I may as well be a 5 year old child needing people to make decisions and guiding me on paths! What should I do? I would like to try hard to achieve As' in my studies but that would be really hard work. I need help. But I trust in God to lead me on my life and ways.
I've been thinking all day and afternoon about what am I going to do with my life. And I sure am stressed! Help! Guess that if I steam off here that it is my personal diary but I'm still afraid someone I know would find about it and I wish wish wish it wouldn't happen! Please 'fess up if you do know me please!
Anyway I've thought about things I want to just rattle off about here but suddenly my mind is blank and all is forgotten. I need to fix my memory thing. Its driving me nuts how I'm useless and have a low memory capacity to hold all the things I need in my life! Even if you asked me what I did yesterday or even what I did an hour ago I would have a possibility of already forgetting what I've done. It's that bad!
I need to start working on my typing skills!
Anyway, funny story, yesterday when in Menjangan and we had to meet up at 7 for breakfast with everyone, me and Nadine were really hoping we wouldn't be late again for the third time. All the days before we came to the breakfast place at 9 though those days we were supposed to come at 8. So we had very little time to eat at all. On saturday I didn't even eat breakfast other than stealing a piece of pancake which I nibbled on on the way to the jetty which we would go for snorkelling trip, since Nadine and I slept in Athena's room and we all woke up really really late. But then yesterday I alarmed 6 times to wake us up by 6 am but to my horror it was not needed for we were woken up when I sat up in bed before the sun even rose when I saw a quite bigger than average black cockroach walking on our blanket!! EW TO THE MAX! I panicked and woke up Nadine and we both panicked in our sleepy state! I directly went to wash myself in the shower with scalding hot water in case any were in any contact with my skin! I found one bug in the shower too! This was so scary since the days before, our room was clean and absolutely bug free! This was so scary since we both then woke up at 5 AM because of the cockroach scaring us from our sleep!
Gladly, we both were able to be the first group of people to arrive to the breakfast area with Oom Danang -Tante Yuko - Kenji & Hiroshi, Uncle Steven & Aunty Simone, Oom Yusuf - Tante Ani & Daniel.
Everyone was freaked out by our story on how we woke up!
I better head off to sleep now! Goodnight! Hugs and Kisses! Wish me luck with my life! (Heart)
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