3 February 2012 Friday

'Tis the season to be all low spirits......

I think so many people this start of 2012 is in such low spirits where they are giving up and complaining just to get steam out so that they could find a hole in which they may bubble and boil and let it out somehow so they wouldn't explode. Including myself. I can't help but be in such low spirits. I can't describe or tell why, it just is.

I heard something a few days ago from my from my friend Assila. She told me that if we think of a person before we sleep then there's a likely chance that the person we've thought about would dream of us in their sleep as there is a hidden mysterious link between us humans. She said she suspects it might be true sometimes or coincidentally so, for she explained that as she was thinking and missing her boyfriend before she went to sleep, and the very next day her boyfriend informed her that he dreamt of her that night and it made her think of the theory she heard. Am I willing to try it out?

I'm not sure about my thoughts are about news that is passed around quickly on the grape vine but I have a gut instinct that whatever is heard there or whoever willingly attaches themselves to that grapevine where news are quickly spread, is involving themselves in gossip and starting rumors. As I have learned as a child, starting rumors and gossiping is a very bad thing to do. It's a sin to gossip. I need to learn to avoid this as much as possible, stop talking behind people's backs, respect others, feel what they would feel about us doing such a thing. I'm willing to learn, but with the world so corrupted and in such shambles it is going to be a tough battle I would have to face. But everything needs to have some life, something good should be learned to be made habit and be done in pleasure so that we would live a fulfilling life.

I watched the movie 'Revolution Road' starring Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio today and the movie was so intense. I watched it with my grandmother and I have very little to say. It was so intense where they show the battle this couple had to face 7 years into their marriage and how to the ending she dies and everything is gone into ashes. All the life and such a waste to have the wife do such a thing as abortion and in the end leading to her passing. I think he actually loved her more. The emotions and passion the actors made the watchers to feel is tremendous. The movie will be a classic one day.

I'm afraid, soon I would have to take AS level Biology and English if I don't get accepted to Singapore Polytechnic and I am so afraid. This is not what I wanted, my life and fate is dangling on a very delicate web string, if I do get into Singapore Polytechnic I would be able to climb my way starting with happy spirits, where I wish to go. If I don't get in I guess I'm stuck here, doing my A levels where I can't bear the thought of.

I don't know what to do, I don't know where I'm heading, I don't know where my life would lead me to. All I know is that my life is in the hands of God Almighty and I am just praying hoping that it would all lead me to the plan God has in store for me.

I do hope nobody I know or knows me would read anything I have to say. Please, this is my getaway and it would just crush me to finely shattered glitter dusted pieces, more that I am already crushed at this point.

I love my family, I love my life, I love myself, I love God, I love the world where nothing is evil or mean.

I love you!
Hugs and Kisses, not because it's a habit to say,  but because I really need all the love I could get, I would love to share the love to everyone, everything, anywhere, anyhow.