First Day

Good Evening everyone!
Though i'm really hoping nobody reads this.
So its my first day on this online diary and well, I'm not very sure on how to even begin.

I thought that since we're starting the year 2012, it might as well be time I actually made a diary to post all my stupid nonsense doings since I've never made a diary ever before, not properly at least...

So I just came back from a Christmas Holiday Trip to Europe with Oom Reza, Oom Suryo and Oom Tony's family. there were 18 of us in total. 12 Adults and 6 children including me. Oom Reza, tante Rita,     with his father and sister, oom Suryo, tante Christina, oom Tony, tante Grace, mom, dad, grandpa and grandma. The kids are Me,16, Matt,10, Elijah,4, Russel,4, Elisha,2, and Dante,1.

When we got back to Jakarta I was in such a happy mood and I wished nothing would break it, at least not so fast as school was looming closely to end my christmas holidays.

The first day of school, yesterday, I came to school with a happy air and was joyous the entire day making a promise with myself that nothing would break the happiness that still lingered to my skin, face and emotion on that day. So the day went on pretty well where nothing crushed my spirits though I have to say... I ABSOLUTELY HATE THE SCHOOL! It has been about 5 months that I've been in the school and still, no matter how much people tell me I would adjust and start to slowly accept it, I DO NOT AT ALL. Boo hoo hoo! :'(

Anywaaaaaaaaaay, So today is the second day of school and when I woke up in good spirits the day quickly crumbled into one hell of a bad day.
- Driver early morning was lelet(slow beyond compare) (minor setback, so used to it)
- I felt stupid and fat and dumb (Oliver's glare and past memory he called me good for no ability to do anything at all, which I admit is true. sigh)
- tons of other reasons I cant remember nor place anymore.

So today I felt that I was coming on to a mini depression for I felt sad, alone, worthless, unable to do anything, no talent, no intelligence, no motivation to even try to smile for the day.

One of the only up points during school was that I remembered I still had a bag of m&ms from the day before when I brought them to school for souvenirs for my classmates and friends for the only good thing of raffles was that the people are nice, they don't straightforwardly hate or despise one another:)

At the end of the day I was feeling worn out, depressed and absolutely sick of school and long for a holiday or break to get far away from coming to school. I love studying, it's the school thats the huge major problem to me. I felt like running awaaaaaaaaaaaay!

But as I texted Claudine on Blackberry Messenger I felt much much better as she really truly is a great awesome and true friend<3 I love her so much! She made me lose part of the frustrations and I felt so much better! Then Raina bbmed me from Hong Kong saying hello from where she's holidaying with her family, I felt absolutely great!

I LOVE ADORE LOOK UP TO BOTH OF THEM :*

oh, and Assila texted me to say not to hate myself and blablabla while we cherished our old memories in Lentera. Though I don't know why but she doesn't impact much on me as much as she did before. But of course I love her no matter what and I hope we'll be friends for a very long time as I do like her:)

Sometimes I feel left out in a way.

I love myself and my own unique way.

I will not trade myself for anything.

I should be thankful and grateful through everything in my life.




Coming to a closing, so thats the first entry to my online diary. Shhhhh!
Hugs and Kisses!